Cyworld for foreigners

http://devsquare.nate.com/Main/Foreigner

 

Heroism

I scream (blog), you scream, we (adoptees) all scream, well at least many of us do because no one has bothered enough to ask for our opinions when adoption is a process where the adoptee is supposed to be the centre yet it somehow always ends up turning into the adoptive parents and often society and many more seems to imply that as adoptees we should feel grateful.

But hey, I think they are missing some vital points here, first of all adoptees is forced to become their own heroes because no one else will defend them or speak for them. Yes, infertility might be a big trauma trigger, I can only imagine but imagine for a second that you for a second was a supposed orphan, adopted into another country far away. You were to young too get asked about what you thought so people just acted on your benefit, made a decision that seemed most suitable and to be for you’re own good.

So what would be better then ? Growing up in a close and loving family, were wealth would be measured in love not possessions. Or does material wealth trump the wealth and happiness that love produces ?

Gender roles & babies

So what if the Swedish Crown Princess is pregnant !? She’s not the first women to expect a child, the only thing that makes this pregnancy get media attention is the fact that the child will be the next monarch in the Swedish royal family (if monarchy still exists in Sweden) but also the epecting mother is not an ordinary woman she’s HRH Crown Princess Victoria the future queen.

Sweden hasn’t had that many queens to be exact but just because she’s royal doesn’t mean anything special she still has to go through a normal 9 months long pregnancy.

And btw, the child isn’t born yet. It is expected to be born in March. As in 2012 not 2011.

So let’s give them a break people, Crown Princess Victoria might be pregnant but let’s not take things for granted. Yes of course the baby will need a name (or four to be more exact) and he or she will probably get more than two godparents. Let the baby be born before anything.

So what if she’s an older first time mother, a lot of women do these days. And let’s not exclude the unborn child from line to exession based on presumed dissabilities. Did you forget the baby isn’t born yet. There’s still 4 months left of 2011 and the baby will probably not be born before 2012.

Maybe

I don’t necessarilly believe that adoptees should get statefounded help I wish it would be possible for adoptees to recieve some kind of state founded help, (yet that doesn’t seem very realistical. )to search for their birth families, however I do wish that it would become easier to iniate a birth family search for those who would like to know their roots.

I also want to say that for me there was no shocking revelation at least not until 24 years ago, (last year), that’s when I realized that my existance was a shock that questioned my birth families values and existance. For them the hard part begun last year and well, I suppose it was the same thing for me since there were a lot of things I didn’t know.

I don’t blame my birth parents, I love them with all my heart , sometimes so hard it hurts… My reunion doesn’t mean my adoptive parents has now been rejected. No of course not, they have shaped me to the person that I am today but my heritage and birth has also had a great impact not only on my life but also on me as a person.

Maybe, my siblings and birth parents are having a much harder them than I, they for the most part didn’t know about me or believed I was dead or maybe that I didn’t even exist to begin with. My birth and adoption has for almost 25 years been tabboo. When I first made myself known they must have struggled, felt angry or sad… So many feelings , some that I may not even know of. My existance was in many ways a threat to my birth families core existance.

Knowing that one of your siblings was deprived from growing up with you… someone you now didn’t know. Did your parents not love you enough ? Could they have decided differently ? Why couldn’t they keep you in the family? Why did they have another child after your birth ? Have they regreted their decision ? Doesn’t our parents love me ?

All I knew at the time was that my parents were poor and a few more things that I’ve been told. For me the hard part begun after my first Korean trip.

Questions arose that I never might get answered, I also realized the dynamic in my adoptive family, that a reunion trip was a threat for the existance of their family, it in many ways also was a conditioned trip, there were a lot of hidden rules which I managed to break from time to time. I saw a new side of my mum and dad, one I would have prefered not to know about.

What not to say to an adoptee

I’ve decided to finally name this list and it will be named What Not To Say To An Adoptee… (in case of adoptive parents).

• never say that an adoptees mum and dad isn’t their real parents!!! ( I know it’s true, but don’t say things that might be hurtful if you don’t have any knowledge of it , it doesn’t matter if they’re true or not).

What Not To Say To An Adoptee

1. We saved you from a bad future
2. You would have died or starved to death if it wasn’t for us
3. You should have been aborted if you you’re birth parents weren’t poor
4. Do think you should have had a better life (with them) then what you have today?
5. You belong to us now.
6. Your birth mother didn’t love you so she gave you up for adoption
7. She doesn’t care about you, why else would she have surrended you !?

Do you have any examples ?

The storch is expected to the castle…

After everything the Swedish royal family went through in the last year and a half there’s finally some good news and reason to celebrate. The future queen of Sweden has announced her pregnancy and upcoming birth in March… This is after one year’s marriage (well add a few more months) so all the speculations about weither or not HRH Crown Princess Victoria were pregnant can now end. For this time.

Is it a girl or boy? Do you think it will be twins? Will Sweden have not only one Queen but two in row or will the future queen give birth to a prince (Crown Princess) and future king ?

What do you think they will name him or her ?

I will not say what I believe that child will be named because I frankly don’t know for one, secondly Swedish royalities usually have at least four personal names which usually already is in the family.. But I doubt Zlatan will be one of the names …

London riots

The British are protesting against the decreased tutition fees for higher education studies. Apparently over 400 youth have been arrested for stealing and what started in London have managed to spread to the following cities:

• Bristol
• Birmingham
• Liverpool
• Nottingham

I’ve never once even imagined these thing would happen in London but boy was I wrong.

In vino veritas

In vino veritas, the truth is in the wine.

US crisis – a changed world order ?

Something major and historical has happened something that affects the entire world. America has recieved a lower credit score than normally. Do you think the US economy will recover ? Will it have a lasting effect on the international economy ? Do you think this means the US power is declining ? Who do you think will take over (if the US isn’t able to recover) ?

Siblings

In a perfect word… not that there might be a perfect word and don’t take that phrase literarily. In a perfect word I believe siblings is like life’s dessert.