Maria Mena Mitt lille land

R.I.P …

Stand up agianst the violence, join the human chain for Norway…

Crime & punishment

Do you believe some criminals and crimes are too horrible ? Do they deserve the death penalty? Or do you think it’s to easy to escape by death or death penalty? Is a life behind bars better? What is an appropriate punishment for taking someone’s life ? What if someone kill not one but twice maybe 100 people ? Do the goal alawys justify the means ? Do you believe people can be evil ?

Disaster in Norway

Yesterday disaster hit Norway, it’s unbelieveable but all to real for all of those that where there. The first event that happened was a big explosion or blast caused by a bomb in the goverment’s building. Seven people lost there lives in Oslo…

Hours later a man went over to Utöya, where AF held it’s annual summer camp for youths.

One man disguised as a policeman started firing a big gun causing mayhem at the island. It went on for hours people took to hiding, started running even attempting to swim over to the other side… No accuarte number of toal loss can be determined yet but at least 84 youths was killed in that single event…

It’s horrendous. I can’t even begin to imagine it…

 

25th Anniversery comming up….

Did you know that the oldest post adoption foundation was founded in Sweden 25 years ago? Well it was and in August it’s the big celebration.

I think it’s a bit sad that such an organization has been needed for so long but on the other hand such an organization could be useful for many KADs. And there are quite a few KADs in Sweden if you didn’t know already…

Since it was founded in the middle of August in 1986 the celebration will also be held in August…

Go your own way

Adult adoptees basically have one thing in common; separation. But adult adoptees are not young children anymore… They are grown ups, with their own lives , personalities and families. They may have many things in common just as they might have many things that’s different.

One might be a cat person another a dog breeder, one might like jazz, and another one might like to sing and preform… and so forth.

Because adult adoptees are different people, individuals with their specific traits and personalities. I believe they all have their own way of dealing with their own adoption, some may be just fine with it and others might struggle more.

Some might want to know their birth parents and families, some might even want to meet while others might have no interest in that whatsoever. Then there’s the topic of a name change.. to change or not to change.. what to change and what to keeep.

But whatever you do don’t let anyone stop from living life on your terms go your own way, that’s the only way you might find happines in the end.

On a mother’s terms

This entry isn’t about just any mother it’s an entry about my very own mother, but I don’t refer to her as mother. I do call her mum although she at times is nothing like a mum, to be honest she’s acting more like the wicked stepmother from Cinderella…

You see the thing is that I’m adopted so I’m not my mother’s daughter by nature but rather by law. She’s also the one who has raised me, shaped me and made me aware of things with the help of my dear dad. Once I was adopted I did become my legal parents daughter and was even granted their family surname. But I do believe that to this day my mother was blinded by the function that I filled in her life, once I legally became their daughter. My mother seemed to have replaced the thought or feeling of guilt from infertility. You see she now had a proof that she too could be a mother…

Our relationship, between my mother and I has always seemed somewhat twisted. I do believe she loves me but she doesn’t really show it by her actions. You see she seems to only love me on her own terms. When it suits her to love me then she does other times she tries her best to either push my buttons, annoy me or insult me in one way or another. Furthermore I would be inclined to call it the ultimate betrayal although in this case I feel lik my mother wasn’t rreally there from me from the start. She has tried her best to support me as long as it didn’t get too uncomfortable for her or as long as I did my best trying to portray the perfect adoptee and the perfect daughter. Once I didn’t want to play along in the charade any longer it felt like my mother started openly abandon me.

If you want to know how to best insult your adopted child then you could ask my mother because she has done so more than once. APs seems to think that how they view their role in adoption is the only correct version first of all. Secondly some APs seems to think that just because they did their part when adopting a child they are somehow allowed too or almost entitled too take of the gloves, stop the sweet talking and starting talking honestly and truthfully. Because why should you have to pretend or ignore things that are actual truths? Never mind if the adoptees might feel insulted by any remarks that an AP make to their child. The APs are their adoptees parents and adoptees should get used to the truth and secondly an AP seems to believe that it would be impossible for them to hurt their own children. Words can’t hurt as long as they are true, right?

APs only accepts adoptees as long as they stay loyal to their APs once they seem to shift away, get other opinions or just seems to argue for the sake of it then the APs soon might go looking for another adoptee that is still unharmed and hasn’t been destroyed…

I wonder if I’m somehow forced to love my mother even though she uses the most weirdest ways to justify her own role and her own suffering…

Would you still love someone who might have told you that you should have been aborted if it wasn’t for the fact that your first parents were poor at the time before your birth?

I can’t seem too make any sense out of this…

Money can buy everything

Money can obviously buy a lot of things.. but can money really get you anything not just the essentials but also the things you dream about and wish you had?

Do you think everyone has a price ?

Size zero not good enough

How far would you be willing to go to achive a perfect body? Do you dream of being a size zero? Less is more remember.. But when do you know if you’ve gone to far… ? Maybe when you’re able or have to start shopping for clothes at the kiddies department. I thought young women wouldn’t be so desperate and willing to take such drastic measures (but then again maybe that’s just me) and it has nothing to do with envy just for the record. I think it’s tragic and unhealthy that’s all!!

Hic et nunc

Latin doesn’t have to be complicated to be beautiful, sometimes less is more.

Hic et nunc, here and now.

If it wasn’t for poverty and stigma

How is it that (international) adoption still exists today?

I believe that it is able to do so because it is depending on other people’s poverty and stigma. And yes adoption is Western thing.

That’s why families and children are separated. (Although there may be small variations in specific details).