What’s success ?

What’s success to you? Is it to have all the money in the world (so that you can buy everything but love) ? Or is success independent from wealth ? Can success be to have a lot of friends and family that love you despite of material wealth ?

Why do we focus so much on money ?

To me love is worth more than money, love can’t be measured in money, material wealth and someone’s salary.

You can of course make someone believe you love them, care for them or are their friend by buying gifts and other things from time to time. But kind of friendship, relationship or love isn’t real and is mostly just heading one way. To disaster.

To be able to find someone who love you and respect you for who you truly are, that’s worth all the money in the world . At least to me. Have the world really changed into such hars, coldhearted place where everything that matters is how high your salary is and how long vacation you can take ?

If it is I’m truely starting to lose faith in humanity. Period.

 

Whatever you do; don’t brag about your or someone else’s salary, income, morgage or whatever income related. That’s so totally annoying and a sure way to lose friends (the ones you had) although you might be able to get new friends but that’s only interested in being your friends as long as your wealthy et c…

Little women

Once I was a little woman like Jo, Meg, Amy and Beth March in Louisa May Alcott’s epic story. Yet I was only similar to them in that regard that I believed I could identify with them, because well I was growing up and I’ve since realized that the reality is sometimes even worse than fiction…

I believe I’m now more similar to the Dashwoods from Sense and Sensibility and especially Marianne Dashwood but I’m not that romantic or as positive and sweet as her… Maybe that’s all just wishful thinking…

Yet I confess I’m a Jane Austen fan, of almost all author’s from 19th century (especially English). You know the old classics…

Adoption statistics

Records say that Korean adoption begun in 1953 as a result of the Korean War, which in return had created a new problem even seen as a threat by some. Some data says that as many as 200.000 Korean children has been adopted both domestically and internationally. I say adopted since there are cases where the adoptee hasn’t been an orphan…

However the statistics of total number of adoptions shouldn’t be 100 % trusted since domestic adoptions remains something less wellknown still today although certain improvements has been made… In some cases there are no records or little information of a domestic adoption having taken place which makes it a little difficult.

Now in 21th century Korea the biggest problem seems to be found in unmarried Korean women that might risk falling pregnant and as a result being shunned by their respective families. Luckily there are organizations out there that are trying to improve the rights of adoptees, unwed mothers and the birth families…

Unconditional love

For any child to exist there has to be two parents; one woman and one man. That’s the traditional view anyways. However for adoption there doesn’t have to be two parents or a heterosexual couple, no to be an adoptive parent you can be any gender and also it doesn’t take any notice of the adoptive parents sexual orientation.

Although Sweden has allowed same sex couple’s to adopt internationally, there’s no country so far that has accept a same sex couple for adoption. Adoption is supposedly a Christian thing and in religion there’s no room for that kind of love.

Parents are supposed to love their children unconditionally so is abolished parental obligations a proof of that or not? Some parents might feel pressured or forced to give their children up for adoption, some might not even know of a new child. And some birth parents may feel convinced that given their child or children up for adoption is in the child’s best interest. According to whom ?

Not to long ago there was a debate and preposition in Sweden suggesting that Sweden would begin domestic adoption as a more cheaper option than international adoption. It’s argued that would be more economically viable and domestic adoption would allow a pregnant woman to not having to choose between abortion or being forced to raise a child. But can domestic adoption of unwanted children really reassure that a child will recieve unconditional love by their new parents ?

Doesn’t this also mean that the state doesn’t have to offer sexual education any longer since it doesn’t matter anymore if you fall pregnant you can always give it up for adoption?

Society’s pressure

Have you heard about a Swedish study of international adoptees’ wellbeing and mental health ?

The presented results indicates that adoptees are more prone to commit suicide and generally feel unhealthy more oftan than ordinary people.

Why is that ?

I would say that society isn’t helping making adoptees become integrated since sociey and general prejudices dictates that an adopted child has to be reminded of what actually happened that enabled that poor soul to have a better life.

Constantly reminding an adoptee of the fact that the parents that they know isn’t really their real parents is pure torture to me. Of course you shouln’t deny the fact that the adoptee has other parents, just don’t use that as an argument.

With that in mind I’d say that the results in the Swedish study isn’t that surprising yet I am also well aware of the fact that there are many adoptees that seem more integrated and happy into society than other. Ultimately there’s no solution for the abandonment and loss that adoptees in general feel.

China, Japan & Korea

China is apart from Korea the only other Asian country that I know of that has an aggressive family policy that only allows one child per family. This has meant that China by the early 21st century accepted foreigners to adopt these children. A few years later they adjusted their requirements on prospective adoptive parents. They no longer allow single parents to apply or people over 42.

Korea begun to seek adoptive parents around the time of the Korean War, and almost 60 years later they still continue playing adoptees overseas.

Japan, the other Asian country is the only country that doesn’t allow or accept foreigners to adopt their children. Instead relatives or extened family members or relatives decide to care for them and raise them. There was supposedly a request adopt Japanese children after the hideous tsunami/earthquake and nuclear crisis leving millions homeless, missing, wounded or dead.